The most painful relationship I’ve ever experienced was one where I was the one who had to end it – i.e. I was the “dumper”. This is why every time one of my friends complain about how painful it is to be the “dumpee” I always have to stop them and explain to them that sometimes it’s the person who ends it who holds the guilt.
When you end a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you are heartless or you’ve stopped caring about your partner. It sometimes means that you are the one who has to face reality that the relationship isn’t working. It also means that if you’ve made a mistake then you will have to go crawling back or begging for forgiveness. The dumpee meanwhile, seats as the victim and doesn’t carry the burden of guilt on their backs.
The dumpee is hurt more and it’s not even a question. I just broke up with a great girl. She’s an incredible lady. I’m hurting a lot because I love her but she is in agony. :(. I want to call her and tell her that I still want to be with her and ease her pain but at the end if the day I know I would hurt her more because I know that I cannot handle things from her past.
Sometimes the dumper huts very very much too especially if you too the decision to do the dumping in the interest of the person you are dumping. I think it really depends on the circumstances that lead to being dumped or dumping someone.