When is the right time ?

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  bessmonkey 4 years, 9 months ago.

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    Hi all. Liked the look of this site, so here goes…big dilema.

    I split from a long term relationship over a year ago. It was not working, so knew it was coming. Got online, met a few women…then BANG…along comes one who I had an instant connection with. We have the whirl wind romance, but the reality was, we were not suited. We split up in October after an up & down year together.

    During all this, I finally sold my house (which I had with the long term ex). Now living with parents. I now have a non existent social life (friends all settled), very little money due to paying off legal fees (don’t ask), and no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to shake the thoughts of my last relationship.

    I am decent guy, have a good job, and have put my energy in to getting in shape at the gym. However, I would really like to meet someone to date, get to know and maybe settle down with. Problem is, I cannot afford a place of my own until May next year, so feel like any dates will think I am barely good material as I live with my parents and have hardly any spare money to pay my way in dating.

    Am I just worrying about nothing ? Should I just get out there and enjoy it ? Or do I keep my head down till May and start then ? Tough times !



    bessmonkey, the ring time is now. I personally think that most decent women will understand that your situation is a temporary thing which will soon be rectified so I think you should keep dating….. you just take your date to a cafe where you both won’t spend more than a tenner.

    If there is chemistry between the two of you I am sure she would understand that you will regain your spending power in a few months time and you can upgrade the places you take her on a date to somewhere you can spend more thank £10 on both of you.

    Also, given that we live in modern times… you date may even be happy to foot the bill of your outings.



    Temi, wise words ! My friends tell me that dating during leaner times sorts the good from the bad (the gold diggers). I guess I could wait till times are “perfect”, but that day might never come.

    I think I am cautious because this is very similar to the situation I was in when I met my ex online. Along comes a stunner, and I was not in the “right” place (had little money then, and was living in a house which was for sale) then without realising it, I dived in head first because she offered fun, excitement and a social life ! OK, I atleast realise my mistake, but even though that last relationship was wrong on many levels, it’s left my nerves slightly on the fragile side and I just seem more cautious than ever before.



    I quite agree with you that perfect day never comes, if I were in yours shoes, I will be cautious but I will still put my self out there just in case…. Like you pointed out, dating in recession could help you source the reasonable woman who would be a good in a long term relationship from the one who just want a good time.

    You should not read too much into the similarities between your situation now and your situation when you met you ex. A different person will be involved in your new relationship and I am sure you would have learnt a thing or two from the previous relationship which will help your build a new hopefully stonger relationship.


    John Lover

    very big delima =)



    A dilemma is two undesirable choices…both of you choices are desirable…staying single (awesome) and having a relationship.



    There’s no better time to meet a great lady than when you’re down. This is because when you’re perfect, you’ll meet all sorts who wants to be with you. But when you’re down, you’ll find someone who wants to be with you no matter what. If you’re lucky enough to find someone like this though, and your financial situation picks up, just remember who was there for you when you didn’t have much to give. Good luck!



    The best time? Just go out, don’t look to hard, and you go find that special one, without knowing. Somebody that love you or fall in love for you, is that one that like you as you are.
    If she start to ask if you have a own house, a good job, big car, a lot of money on the bank. Well she is looking for a nice wallet. Not for love.
    The right one is that one that love you for who you are. Somebody that want to be with you in good and bad moments of the life.



    A great question. I think that the right time is when you are sure that you want a long term relationship. Is something to think not in one day…

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